Basic courtesy with Ostomy

Seeing people with an Ostomy for the first time brings up many memories.  There can be many different reactions especially from all types of ages.  The greatest fear is that someone points it out and usually a child being completely honest starts making fun of it.  People are known to get embarrassed quickly and if you are new to it and still emotionally scared by the fact that you have an Ostomy it can be hard to deal with.  On the flip side of this equation is that many people go so far as to be rude by being polite.  It is ironic that people instantly move into the stigma that anyone with a Ostomy is handicapped or basically a parapalegic in their mind.

It is human nature to see something different and instantly attribute it as a weakness and want to feel sympathy.  That is a the natural feeling and most people will stay in that emotional state until they are told to knock it off by a friend. The reality is that when something it different, they person is not treated the same.  It wouldn’t matter if it was an ostomy or a cast on the leg.  The response we have gets more extreme the rarer it is we see it. 

When someone is doing maintenance on with a little bit of ostomy care in the bathroom people lose their mind.  The natural reaction is to simply run away.  This is why new comers who just got an ostomy and are learning to deal with their stoma sometimes have trouble getting in the routine.  They can walk into a bathroom and need to meantness by the sink and people will give them looks that they never images they would see.  Worst they get called out for doing things that are normal ostomy care maintenance and are ostracized for it.

So the next time you run into someone who has a Ostomy, or is dealing with their Stoma in the bathroom. Be nice, be kind, and for goodness sake be normal.  Don’t call them out, say hey and go about your business, because they are simply going about thiers.  Nothing is really different about them or you except what extra made up handicap you want to put on them. 

We are all human, some just walk around with a small bag.  We are all the same and want to be treated with the same decency and respect, so don’t forget to show to everyone.

You just got an ostomy what now?

Life changing circumstances are never an easy adjustment.  It is not unreasonable for a person to get their first stoma to go through a range of emotions that similarly are regarded as a tragedy. It is in no way an overstatement and anyone who is going through the transition to getting a stoma needs love and understanding. Getting into ostomy care and psychologically coming out on top is a journey.  The change of bodily functions is more than just going through say a broken bone or a sprained ankle.  Granted those are painful and very difficult injuries,  but generally life gets back to normal after rehabilitation is over.

So understand a new ostomy patient will most likely be overwhelmed and in need of emotional support. They need to feel that it’s normal to be overwhelmed because it is! Some have just lost their bladder or bowel and in some cases have been diagnosed with cancer.  Make sure you have a nurse that is certified in this area and has empathy.  If they don’t get a new one and fast.

During this time they will be grieving. Rather the patient is showing it or not they are feeling a loss and need to be consoled.  This is best done with knowledge and accurate information.  Be honest, and dispel the false information about ostomy care.  Take the honest route and teach.  Let them know how things work and how to overcome issues and smells by propper care. So if they have made a mistake and the smell is rampant, don’t walk in the room and chide them, or constantly spray oder eliminator before you even talk to them. Take this time as a teaching and learning experience. Find out what went wrong and let them fix it so they are able to keep it from happening when they don’t want it to. 

Don’t overwhelm the new patient.  If this is their first time. The information can be incredibly overwhelming and complicated.  Take small lessons and teach with grace and understanding.  Remember not everyone learns the same way.  Some need to hear the information before understanding. Some need to visualize it with charts and graphs.  There are also kinesic learners that need to actually do it to learn.  They must be active in the process or they simply don't get it.  Don’t get frustrated, get smarter and become a better teacher.  Remember most of all be kind.